Leading Lady : Writing about Me

I am not new to the blogging world. I have had many blogs in the past, all of which I have committed to, and then forgot about, moved on, and tried again. This blog is different. I am on the precipice of an adventure, about to take a leap and this blog, well, it is in hopes my readers will leap with me.

Blogging somehow seems like a selfish art for me. I have felt the same way about Facebook (which lead me to deactivate, and even delete it a couple times). It is about me, me, me. Look at me. Read about what I am doing. Care about my life. In this way, I have had very safe blogs. I do not like writing about myself because frankly, I am under the belief no one (other than close family & friends) really care. And that is alright with me. I understand. To an acquaintance or new friend, my life seems boring, and for the most part, it is. Being a little quiet and afraid of standing out, I have never been one to flaunt. So blogging has always felt awkward because I do not know what people want to read and whether or not they will be turned off if I merely write about myself.

But enough is enough. This blog is about me and I need to start writing about me. This scares me a little because I do not normally put myself out there. Rarely do I open up to people unless they have gained my complete trust. However, I trust writing. It has always been an escape for me and since I do not know who reads this, I am protected and able to be free. It reminds me of being on stage. This may surprise you, but I enjoy acting and public speaking (especially in front of large crowds) Why is this so when it is well known I am a bit of an introvert? Because I can’t see every face in the crowd when I am performing/speaking. When it comes down to mingling after with people in the crowd, then I want to cower in a corner and be invisible. Blogging is similar. I can’t see your face when I am writing. I can’t see your reaction. And unless you comment (please do, I like comments anyway) I do not know if you think I am lame or awesome.

This brings me to censorship. How much do I write about my life? What do I open up about and what do I keep between me and the select few I actually confide in? I am still trying to figure out the answer I am comfortable with. To start though, I do want to share a little bit about myself. Here it goes.

I love writing. Only a few people know this about me (and if you are, consider yourself a special person in my life). This started when I was young. But it isn’t the act of writing I love (since my grammar, spelling and vocabulary are limited), it’s storytelling. I am in love with character development and plots. Seems a bit strange, I know, but I am not kidding when I let you in on this secret. Growing up, I spent most of my time in my room creating plots and characters. I even began writing my first novel at the age of 10, and it kills me knowing I will never find that journal again. The novel was about figure skating and on a field trip, my first readers (including a boy I had a crush on) read it on the bus ride to Calgary.

This passion I had for storytelling was soon put to the side when I realized it was near impossible to make a successful career. Instead, after watching the movie Step Mom, I convinced myself I loved photography. For the longest time, I told myself photography was my thing. It came easy (the creative aspect, not the technical part). And I used to say the spark that ignited this passion was that particular movie I fell in love with as a teenager. The truth is, I didn’t fall in love with photography, I fell in love with Julia Roberts’ character. How do I know this? Because every time I watch a movie, I fall in love with a character and believe I want to do what they do. From this, I have had many dream jobs and I constantly remind myself, no Ky, you do not want to be a lawyer, you only like the character whose job is a lawyer. See, I immerse myself in the lives of characters. Always have and probably always will.

Do not get me wrong, I still love photography. It has turned into a great hobby of mine, but I love writing more. However, this blog is a way for me to incorporate both. During my great escape to the other side of the world, I will be writing and posting pictures. As well, I am starting up a vlog on youtube. Yikes! I hate being in front of a camera, but I thought I might give it a go. My first vlog, which will be an exciting one, will be in Hawaii in a couple weeks. Keep posted and watch with envy during your Christmas break in the cold! You do not have to read or you don’t have to watch. But pick one or the other and make me a celebrity in your eyes. I’m joking, but would be incredibly flattered if you do.

I hope you are fine with the new direction I am taking with this blog. Enough with the cheesy, inspirational posts. I am going to be a selfish blogger and this way, I might write more often.

More and more I will write about myself, and maybe, you will see me as a character in a novel/movie you are on an adventure with.